As parents it is important that we work together with our spouse. Sometimes we feel like we are not on the same page and sometimes, not even in the same book! However I have learned that no matter how good my parenting playbook looks on paper (or just in my head) the results are not always what I’m looking for. Sadly, sometimes we don’t see those results until years later!
I always wanted my spouse to get on the same page with me in parenting. I took the nurturing position, doling out consequences when needed. My spouse’s approach was sterner, laying out consequences far sooner than I would. Now that our children are teens, I am seeing that the end result for my parenting style isn’t what I thought it would be. They needed my spouse’s approach earlier than I allowed.
Moms and Dads, it is not about being right, it is about being together! The benefits of being united outweigh many of the mistakes that we make in parenting. If neither of you are willing to budge in your position, your kids are the ones that will suffer. Sometimes we have to switch play books for a season. Great coaches know which plays work and which don’t because they have tried them all, the good and the bad, in different seasons and different games. Just because a play doesn’t work when your children are young, doesn’t mean it won’t work when they are old. What did not work for you, may be exactly what your child needs.
Don’t give up! Show a united front and don’t be afraid to try a few new plays even if you can’t see the outcome!