Some kids have an internal drive that makes them independent from birth; however my oldest needs an external driver. Someone to push her when she is afraid to try, afraid to fail, or just being lazy. As a parent, I am that driver, even when I feel like the bad guy.
At some point in their small lives, we as parents began to have our children do simple tasks like tying their shoes. We were looking at the future and knew they had to do these things on their own. We stood our ground and made them try over and over until they got it.
Now that they are teens, we run into the same scenario and have to remember that there are things coming in their future that our teens have to be prepared for. We have to be that driver once again.
My son took 9 hours to do the dishes – what would have taken me 20 minutes. Yet if I had stepped in and done them for him, it would have set the stage for him to continue wasting time so that he could get out of what he didn’t want to do in the first place. By my actions, I would have told him that he is not capable.
Stand your ground mom and dad! Believe that they can do it and hold out like you did when they were young, because it sure would be awkward to still be going to their school every day to tie their shoes. I don’t want to help my son’s wife with dishes because he “can’t.”